Angela Lanyon's Corona Verses 101-200, 3rd July - 10th October, 2020

10th October, 2020 – Verse 200!

The Congo has aquatic mice
They make the bogs their home,
They hunt with sonar whiskers
As round about they roam.
I wish that they’d stayed hidden
Not dragged into the day,
Ecstatically enthused about
By dear old David A.

9th October, 2020

Remember Herculaneum,
That city by the shore?
They didn’t heed the rumblings
Of what was there in store,
They didn’t take as ominous
The rumours that went round,
Rulers should take lessons
And keep their ears close to the ground.

8th October, 2020

History lacks imagination
It’s like the BBC,
It constantly repeats itself
For which we lay a fee.
We also pay for history
If we don’t heed results
That come from trading weapons
Instead of just insults.

7th October, 2020

Confusion on confusion!
Who the hell knows what
Is happening around
Now that they have lost the plot.
Cromwell cancelled Christmas
Will Boris do the same?
For a so called freedom lover
He plays a dodgy game.

6th October, 2020

Ring a ring of roses
The virus goes around,
It’s like a chain in dances
When your partners rebound,
Meet and greet then quickly move away,
Avoid that warm embrace,
On White House lawn or city pub
Close contact leaves a trace.

5th October, 2020

Please do not attempt
To wish another dead,
Curses have a habit
Of rebounding on your head.
Throw your bread upon the waters
Was my Granny 's boast,
And then, if you are lucky,
It comes back buttered toast.

4th October, 2020

If you wake at midnight and think you hear a rave,
Don’t go interfering, be silent as the grave,
Put the pillow on your head, go straight back to sleep,
If you keep it secret others will your secrets keep.
Five and twenty people partying in the park,
Having lots of jolly fun, especially after dark,
But should you meet the Track and Trace hot upon the scent
You don’t know where no one is, nor yet where no one went.

3rd October, 2020

This virus won’t discriminate,
It’s much misunderstood,
It doesn’t pick the old and weak
And shun the great and good.
It throws a spanner in the works,
It’s muddied an election,
And which way will the voting go
For natural selection?

2nd October, 2020

History repeats itself
We often glibly say,
But fail to catch the echo
Till the time comes round to pay.
We have a spineless parliament
Accountable to none
And this is how dictatorships
Quite often are begun.

1st October, 2020

Divide and rule the project was
Right from the very start,
They’ve split the country into four,
Forced families apart,
We are not free to meet our friends
For fear of revolution,
But locking students in their rooms
Is not the best solution.

30th September, 2020

I know where I’m going?
I wish that that were true,
Everybody has ideas
But no one has a clue.
Inside, outside, who can tell
In pub or workplace what’s the mix.
You smart phone will provide the answer,
How many people make up six?

29th September, 2020

Though none of us can count the cost
Of the springtime we have lost,
Of birches with their tender green
And bluebells spreading in between,
Present mirth brings hollow laughter
For who's to tell what comes hereafter,
And autumn sun like autumn rain
Once over, will not come again.

28th September, 2020

Poor Harry didn’t want to be
A second all his life,
But, sadly, now finds he talks
Two words behind his wife.
Look carefully at what you lust
Be sure you use your head,
It’s hard to reconcile yourself
When you have made your bed.

27th September, 2020

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s back to work I go,
Not the office, not the train
I have to do my work at home
Around the kitchen sink again.
I miss the daily gossip mill
The casual meeting in the loo,
To shoot the breeze and pass along
Who’s doing what with you know who.

26th September, 2020

Oh, to be insulted,
It makes me feel so good,
I know that I’m all right inside
If I’m misunderstood.
No platforming! I’ll close my ears
To those who disagree,
I’m picture perfect, truly woke
A paragon, you see.

25th September, 2020

Night air is very dangerous,
So Victorians thought,
You must keep all the windows shut
Lest nasty germs are caught.
And so at ten o’clock each night
We bar the tavern doors,
Hang garlic round about our neck
And sanitise our paws.

24th September, 2020

Of course it is the public’s fault,
The blame can’t possibly be ours,
Why should the young enjoy themselves
By drinking at all hours?
Now democracy is dead
And everyone’s a slave
Perhaps the National Trust will come
And sanitise the grave.

23rd September, 2020

Oh, what can ail thee, Boris J,
Adrift and vaguely bumbling?
The Sage has over grown itself
And only snitchers sing.
‘I met an expert in the town
He hastened to my call
And now he’s cast this wretched spell
That has us all in thrall.

22nd September, 2020

Behind what mighty fortress walls
Have they locked down our Queen?
It seems that many moons ago
Her Majesty was seen.
Her robust words of common sense
Would cut through all this guff,
‘gentlemen, your time is up,
Enough is quite enough’.

21st September, 2020

Mark the memorials with graffiti,
Throw the statues to the ground
Even if philanthropists
Spread their money all around,
The Past's another country
You can’t put right each thing,
And here in modern Britain
We’re not allowed to sing.

20th September, 2020

People died in springtime,
They’ll die in autumn too,
And though you might not like the fact
It’s absolutely true.
The reasons may be various
Behind each separate death
But the starting point is just the same-
Conception ends in death.

19th September, 2020

Three cheers for Van Morrison
Who sings the thoughts I think,
The thought of further lock down
Has driven me to drink,
I’m narked that I should have to pay
For cretinous TV
I should be paid to listen to
The doom struck BBC

18th September, 2020

The life boat and the coastguard
Were waiting on the sand
To give their help to migrants
If they should come to land,
‘It makes a change,’ the coast guard said,
‘From yachts blown far and wide,
Or saving brain dead tourists
Who are cut off by the tide.’

17th September, 2020

Now we’ve trashed the planet
We’ve moved out into space,
We haven’t put our toys away
Just let them drift in space,
And very soon a piece will go
And fall on someone’s head,
They’ll not be struck by Covid
But they’ll end up just as dead

16th September, 2020

Telling tales is not the thing
That English people do,
It’s drummed in from your childhood,
You know that it is true.
To snitch about your neighbours?
Your duty may seem clear,
But remember that your neighbours
Will still be here next year.

15th September, 2020

Cultural appropriationIs definitely taboo
You must be careful what you wear
And what you’re eating too,
Chinese takeaways and curries,
Tortillas, Irish stew,
Bananas, tea and coffee
Are off the menu too.

14th September, 2020

The Demon King has spoken
Cast another nasty spell,
But will it come back on his head
Only time will tell?
Six people is the limit
In a house or in a park,
But winter time is coming
And soon it will be dark.

13th September, 2020

A busy body's charter,
Covid marshals out in force,
A sheriff's star will be provided
And you’ll also get a horse.
Blazing saddles in the High Street,
High Noon, the market place
And a lynching in the tea shop
If you fail to mask your face.

12th September, 2020

I’ve gone off Boris Johnson,
And his wolves disguised as sheep,
He bumbles and he mumbles
Poor love, looks half asleep,
The experts have enthralled him,
They’ve seized his brain as well,
He’s just a helpless puppet
And the country goes through hell.

11th September, 2020

The Government plans to stick to its guns,
I wonder what glue they will use?
Extinction Rebellion could give them a tip
Their hold fast is oft in the news.
Rulers have found when there’s trouble at home
It’s wise to provide a distraction,
Tear up a Treaty, our Borders are threatened,
Is sure to provoke a reaction.

10th September, 2020

How far is it to Bethlehem,
Is it very far?
I’m off to have a Covid test
And plan to go by car.
I’ve got a thermos flask and rugs,
A spade in case of snow,
Like Captain Oates, I’ll be sometime,
So cheer me as I go.

9th September, 2020

There’s a groundswell of frustration
Which is growing day by day,
It’s gathering behind curtains
And it will not go away,
The youngsters aren’t the only ones
With their twitters and their tweets,
What starts like distant grumbling
Ends with rioting in the streets.

8th September, 2020

Are things getting back to normal
Now that Brexit's in the news?
A counter irritation
Where we all can air our views,
There’s Barnier and Borders
And Trade Wars if you wish,
But keep your trawlers from our seas
And your fingers off our fish!

7th September, 2020

I’m just a little snowflake
And I’m searching everywhere,
I want to be offended
Just to show how much I care,
I want to feel I’m virtuous,
I’m there for the oppressed,
And I’ll claim to be a victim
If I’m threatened with arrest.

6th September, 2020

The left hand and the right hand
Are completely disconnected,
I wonder why you’re so surprised,
It’s hardly unexpected.
Each has a separate axe to grind,
Will they at length discover
How close they are to cutting off
The heads of one another?

5th September, 2020

Now fewer are commuting
What’s the point of HS2?
It’s the kind of prestige project
That politicians do.
It’s meant to signal progress,
To demonstrate their power,
While it’s actual irrelevance
Increases hour by hour.

4th September, 2020

Testing, testing, only testing
It’s meant to make us feel secure,
But to find a testing centre,
You must take a National tour.
Test at airports, test on door steps,
Gather data while ye may,
It’s there to show we’re making progress
Till the virus goes away.

3rd September, 2020

Lock down on and lock down off
So how can people know
What they are allowed to do,
Where they’re allowed to go?
Rule Britannia's on again
But will it change in hours?
We’re going round in circles
And Meghan's planting flowers!

2nd September, 2020

Now the teachers are back teaching
Can the doctors get to work?
We realise they’ve been busy
And their duties they don’t shirk,
But face to face, impossible,
It’s medicine by phone,
And unless you’re techno-savvy
You’re strictly on your own.

1st September, 2020

A school child back to lessons goes
Some changes he’ll discover
He has to wear a mask on stairs,
He must not touch another.
And just to keep our children safe
There’s guidelines from on high,
No jostling in the corridors,
No snogging on the sly.

31st August, 2020

Those who would avoid a risk
Should step aside from being kissed,
Germs are lurking everywhere
But often skip the debonair.
The eager sperm must take its chance
In Mother Nature’s mating dance,
The greatest risk, I have to warn,
Is getting here and being born.

30th August, 2020

Extinction Rebellion has sprung back to life
Infesting the streets and stirring up strife,
The lockdown gave foretaste of what they’d adore
And nationwide rallies are pleading for more.
Bored and frustrated with nothing to do
They’re eager to publish their own point of view,
The ravers are raving,they’re ripe for a riot,
They won’t be kept down and they won’t be kept quiet.

29th August, 2020

If you look for doom and gloom
Turn on the BBC,
But if you crave a lighter tone
Switch on to ITV,
And when it comes to weather
The difference is the same,
One focuses on sunshine,
The other speaks of rain.

28th August, 2020

Brexit and Megxit and BLM
Covids and climate and teenage mayhem,
The government's caught in a terminal spin
There’s too much confusion for me to take in.
The news is vexatious and it’s perfectly true
I can no longer stomach the weird points of view,
To have something cheerful would give us a glow
But winter's ahead with the wrong kind of snow.

27th August, 2020

History is the past, it’s dead.
A fact, you cannot change it,
Pull down statues, put up plaques,
You cannot rearrange it.
There’s good and bad in everything
Just try to find the best,
The people that do otherwise
Stir up a hornet's nest.

26th August, 2020

Land of hope and glory,
That’s what we used to sing,
But now we’re not allowed to,
It’s a very dangerous thing.
No more Rule Britannia,
Jerusalem is banned,
We’re forbidden now to celebrate
This green and pleasant land.

25th August, 2020

When the schools reopen
Will the children all go back?
It’s an absolute imperative
Their lessons are on track
And we must protect the teachers
If we get a second wave,
So just a tick, while we decide
Who else we need to save.

24th August, 2020

The regulations are confusing
Each one dafter than the last,
Is it worse or is it better
Is that another milestone passed?
The R rate, is it steady?
Graphs that rear like a tsunami
Making sense of all this garbage
In the end will drive us barmy.

23rd August, 2020

Midnight was the magic hour
For fairy transformation
Now 4 a.m.'s the deadline
For modern transportation,
The Demon King has cast a spell,
"If you’re one minute late
You’re doomed, and for a fortnight
You must self isolate."

22nd August, 2020

U turns are like boomerangs
They catch you unaware,
And algorithms are unmasked
As bias with a flair,
It seems that in a panic
To justify our acts,
We’ve conveniently forgotten
The fact that facts are facts.

21st August, 2020

Run up the Jolly Roger
For I spot another wreck,
A levels, GCSEs
And now the ship: B Tech.
The sailors are abandoned,
The Captain's lost his nerve,
He’s  sent a signal up the mast
"It’s another learning curve."

20th August, 2020

"No one will be penalised,
"That’s what the experts said
‘"Because of the pandemic
Exams can’t go ahead.
Course work will be graded,
All pupils we’ll assess,
"But a trendy algorithm
Has caused another mess.

19th August, 2020

Another flipping U turn,
Give order marks all round,
Another whizz solution
Comes crashing to the ground.
The things we said tomorrow
We will promise yesterday,
A maelstrom of confusion
Has set us all astray.

18th August, 2020

Anti-social distancing depends
On the weapon that’s to hand,
A gun, a knife, an Exocet,
Bow and arrows, bag of sand,
The distance doesn’t matter
If you use the proper thing,
King Arthur used Excalibur,
Boy David used a sling.

17th August, 2020

Politicians don’t wear masks
To tell us barefaced lies,
They must appear responsible
And look us in the eyes.
Statisticians juggle figures,
Politicians spin the facts,
Figs don’t grow on thistles
And we judge them by their acts.

16th August, 2020

Disappointed youngsters
With futures torn apart
Don’t want a patronising word
To cure a broken heart.
Their efforts disregarded
Their ambitions thrown away,
But often what you rubbish
You’ll be desperate for some day.

15th August, 2020

I think I mentioned months ago
The dangers that we faced,
But no one paid attention
As down the hill we raced.
A temporary inconvenience
But not the kiss of death,
Like others who see far ahead
I might have saved my breath.

14th August, 2020

Now recession's seized us,
The wolf is through the door,
He’s prowling round the table,
He’s sniffing on the floor,
The National Health won’t save us
From the messes that we’ve made,
We’re finding out, alas too late,
Too high a price we paid.

13th August, 2020

The weasel words that haunt them
When suggestions have been spurned,
We’re really very sorry
And lessons must be learned.
It’s quite the easiest thing to say
But difficult to do,
For nothing is more hard to change
Than your own point of view.

12th August, 2020

Now we’ve saved the NHS
Let’s rescue Grannies too,
Mobs of jolly youngsters
Could give their elders flu,
This Grannie's nearly ninety,
As a child she faced the blitz,
She’s not impressed with bullies
And germs don’t scare her into fits.

11th August, 2020

We have a moral duty
To get children into class,
But morals don’t come into it
The whole thing is a farce,
To keep a social distance
On the bus or once in school,
You must be off your trolley
If you think they’ll keep that rule.

10th August, 2020

I’m sick of politicians
Now my life's been put on hold,
I’m sick of being nannied,
Made to do what I am told.
To hell with all the government,
Their simpering sidekicks,
Let’s go and build a bonfire
And chuck some well aimed bricks.

9th August, 2020

I think I’ve lost the will to live
Amidst this dire confusion,
Can there be a way ahead
Or is it an illusion?
A creeping lethargy has seized me
I no longer feel the need
For outside stimulation
For my brain has gone to seed!

8th August, 2020

Can we, can't we, will we, won’t we,
Dare we take a chance?
If we go to Belgium
Can we come back via France?
Asylum seekers manage
Packed in boats like tinned sardine
I bet when they arrive here
They don’t go and quarantine.

7th August, 2020

Track and Trace, that Dazzling Duo
Can be seen on BBC,
And, no doubt, with extra funding
Have a slot on ITV.
Is it telly's latest offer
Dench and Tennant in the parts?
Maybe with some souped up action
It will get into the charts.

6th August, 2020

I used to smile at staff in shops
And thank them if I could,
But now it’s quite impossible
To treat them as I would,
Every day in little ways
We’re driven more apart,
Divide and rule the mantra is
And small ways are a start.

5th August, 2020

Track and trace are here again,
Or is it trace and test?
You can be sure whatever else
The Government knows best.
When everyone tests positive
What will the answer be,
Will they lock us up for ever
Or claim herd immunity?

4th August, 2020

Panic's followed by despair,
Despair drags heavy chains,
And when despair has drifted off
Apathy remains.
But apathy is dangerous
For when it seems most quiet
It’s brewing up resentment
Which can end up in a riot.

3rd August, 2020

Close the pubs! Turn children out?
They ought to be in school,
We can’t have hordes of drunken tots
Hooked on playing pool!
I can’t conceive a dafter plan,
What logic is there here,
Unless, perhaps, it’s teachers
Who are swigging back the beer.

2nd August, 2020

"Wolf, wolf," the shepherd boy cried out,
The sheep were all confused,
"The emperor has no clothes on,
"The crowd were not amused,
"I see no ships," Lord Nelson said,
His blind eye turned to sea,
Ignored the orders, sailed ahead
And won a victory.

1st August, 2020

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"When we must make a check,
And see what we can salvage
From this bloody awful wreck.
The economy is reeling,
Morale is down the loo.
"The Carpenter said nothing
For he knew that it was true.

31st July, 2020

The aged and the technophobes
Can’t see a doctor now.
You need a mobile phone with apps
To soothe your fevered brow,
Can you be sure a person's there
Or is it just a scam,
The speaker could be in Jaipur
While you’re in Birmingham.

30th July, 2020

I’m getting fed up with the Government
And its contradictory laws,
I resent the fact that for several months
My life’s been stuck on pause,
I’m not impressed by the experts
And their smug, self satisfied grins,
I’m thinking of making a model
And sticking it full of pins.

29th July, 2020

What joy to see a flock of grannies
Cycling to a busy Mall,
Sticks and masks and safety helmets
All entangled if they fall.
I wonder how it helps the nation
Broken bones and crumpled bikes,
But stuck at home while they recover,
May avoid more Covid spikes.

28th July, 2020

Goodbye to Merry England
Now Puritanism reigns,
We sleep walked into slavery
We left behind our brains,
We can’t go out and party,
We’re not allowed to sing
We’re nagged about the food we eat..
We can’t do anything!

27th July, 2020

Face masks on, or maybe off,
Am I dangerous if I cough?
If I go, can I come back,
How on earth can I keep track?
We can be sure that what they say
Is not the same as yesterday,
Statements are made to stop confusion
Each day when we switch the news on.

26th July, 2020

We’re all in this together
Was a lie right from the start,
Face masks and social distancing
Are driving us apart.
We cannot smile at those in shops
It’s stand back when we meet,
Now eye contact is missing
When we pass by in the street.

25th July, 2020

Do you remember an inn, Miranda,
Do you remember the bar
With the nuts and the crisps and the banter
Where the ceiling was yellow with tar?
Oh, I can remember the fun we had,
The laughter, the people we’d meet,
It’s a weird world when sitting apart
In a pub at the end of the street.

24th July, 2020

I won’t go out to the shops again
Unless in desperation,
I haven’t the strength to stand and queue
And masks are a vexation,
What is the point of buying stuff
When there is no place to go?
So I’ll carry on wearing the things I have
And using the tools I know.

23rd July, 2020

Plastic, plastic everywhere,
Plastic, plastic in the air,
Gloves and masks and PPE
In the gutters, in the sea.
Microplastics in our meat,
Plastic beads in what we eat,
Very soon it seems to me
Plastic people we will be.

22nd July, 2020

Now we’ve got a vaccine
Or maybe we have not,
Another new ingredient
To stir into the plot.
"We need an even playing field
To keep us in the game,"
And if by chance it all goes wrong
There’s someone else to blame.

21st July, 2020

I’m forever forming bubbles,
Lots of bubbles everywhere,
Joining up and breaking down,
Bubbles floating in thin air.
But bubbles don’t do isolation,
Watch them cluster  in the bath,
Bubbles cuddle other bubbles,
Quickly, someone, make a graph.

20th July, 2020

It will be over by Christmas,
We’ve heard that one before,
It’s not the reassurance
That we were looking for,
We want to hug our friends again,
We need to be set free
From petty regulations
That restrict our liberty.

19th July, 2020

It doesn’t matter how you die
We’ll blame it on the virus,
We’re dealing with statistics here
So please, don’t over tire us,
A falling tree, a wayward bike,
A shove from off a cliff,
It’s the killer's explanation
If you end up as a stiff.

18th July, 2020

A road map to recovery,
A sat nav to success,
A guidebook of instructions
To free us from this mess,
Now Boris Johnson’s spoken,
A life line he has thrown
But will it work in practice?
That’s the great unknown.

17th July, 2020

This virus is a nasty thing
And in its tail it has a sting,
We’ve sacrificed the nation's wealth
To protect the nation's health.
The old will wither, but the young
Unto the whims of fate are flung,
Half educated, jobless, they
Are the ones who’ll have to pay.

16th July, 2020

You mustn’t go down to the shops today
Unless you go in disguise,
Everyone there has covered their face
Looking like amateur spies,
Muttered words and furtive glances
A criminal you’re made to feel,
Shopping never was a pleasure,
Now, alas, it’s an ordeal.

15th July, 2020

No matter what the statement is,
No matter how outrageous,
In two weeks time it’s different
For U turns are contagious.
Stay in! Go out! Please stay alert!
Are you or they deranged?
For when the info reaches you
You’ll find it has been changed.

14th July, 2020

Remember burkas were decried?
‘Letter boxes’ someone cried,
Now all of us must veil our face,
Even smiling's out of place.
Cover up your mouth and nose,
But underneath frustration grows,
How can I feel security
When your emotions I can’t see?

13th July, 2020

To be an expert is to have
A certain point of view,
But there maybe other experts
Who think differently from you,
The general public are the pawns
In this weird game of chess,
What is to players lots of fun
Seems muddleheadedness.

12th July, 2020

The masked and formless figure
That haunts our deepest dreams
Has come into the living room
Through television screens,
The bugaboos*, the shadow ones
Who lurk upon the stair,
Are in the shops ahead of you
To catch you unaware.

11th July, 2020

Cromwell would be crowing
At the laws we’ve passed,
No singing in the churches,
The theatres shuttered fast,
The statues have been toppled,
We’re recorded when we meet
Now masks to stop us speaking out
When we are in the street.

10th July, 2020

I have a jaundiced view of life,
It is my parents fault,
And what I hear, and see and read
I take with lots of salt,
It maybe very cynical
But the truth I have to tell,
Too often good intentions
Don’t turn out very well.

9th July, 2020

Money doesn’t grow on trees
Was our parents‘ cry,
But now it comes in bucket loads
Falling from the sky.
To get the country back on track
Is the Chancellor's aim
But better take a rain check
For he'll want it back again.

8th July, 2020

How many pubs were open?
How many people went?
How many pints were lifted?
How many elbows bent?
The Beeb doesn’t like happy endings,
It loves to say "Auntie knows best",
It homes in with its gleeful reporters
On three with a positive test.

7th July, 2020

Everyone burst out singing,
But now that isn’t true,
Singing is forbidden,
It’s a dangerous thing to do,
Go, tell it to the blackbird,
Put notes on every tree,
No more Rule Britannia
For Britons are not free.

6th July, 2020

Breathe on me, breath of God
But be sure to wear a mask,
I know that You’re almighty
And it’s a little thing to ask,
Some people have been terrified
And locked themselves away
And now they’re still too nervous
To face the light of day.

5th July, 2020

All the world's a stage,
But now the boards are bare,
No actors and no audience
Just dead and silent air.
The echoes of emotions
Hang in the empty space
A mirror held to nature
That nothing can replace.

4th July, 2020

A trip to the pub was a tonic,
With Guinness lined up on the bar,
Shoulder to shoulder together
With all of us having a jar,
But now for the future it’s different,
Be sensible, you must behave.
No touching, no singing, no laughter,
I might as well stay in my grave.

3rd July, 2020

What has happened to the Corvids,
Numbers eighteen down to one?
Are they lurking in the future
Or have they come and been and gone?
And what about these clumps of letters,
T. and R., and P.P. E.?
I know that they’re abbreviations
But on my part they’re O.T.T.

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More details about Fisher German services particularly relevant to residents of the Britannia Square area may be found here.

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